Welcome to the Zombie Retirement Home
by ThePinkDocMartens
Summary: The day to day life in the Zombie Retirement Home, ran by Scapegrace and Thrasher in Nye's old building.
1. Chapter 1

"Master!" Thrasher screamed, the pair had started their own detective agency 'The zombie hunters' a lot of people how came to then got the wrong idea, they came to them to get rid of zombies -not zombie detectives. They were often disappointed in the fact Thrasher and Scapegrace weren't going to get rid of the zombies, but they did own a warehouse given to them by China Sorrows where they took their kin. Apparently the warehouse had been previously owned by Doctor Nye before he was hired by the Sanctuary, then thrown in prison for treason. But now it was used as a zombie home. Alot like a retirement home - but for zombies.

"Master" Thrasher screamed again, one of their potential clients was being attacked by a rouge zombie that had escaped the warehouse and was now in the front office next to Scapegrace's office. And Thrasher was trying to open the jaw of the escapee zombie that was latched around the clients shoulder.

"What Thrasher?" He called from his office, he was wondering whether he should change The name of his business, everyone was confused by the name.

"We have a situation out here" the attacked victim started making gurgling sounds.

"What sort of situation?"Scapegrace asked walking through his office door and then stopped "oh sugar cookies" he mumbled" he ran forward to help Thrasher with the task.

"How could you let this happen you idiot" Scapegrace hissed at Thrasher through gritted teeth. He finally got the chance to see if his status worked he moved back from the escapee, client and Thrasher. Cleared his throat and bellowed

"STOP THIS I AM YOUR ZOMBIE KING" surprisingly it worked both Thrasher and the escapee let go of the client and took a step back. The client fell to the floor bleeding profoundly from hos should wound, It would be need to be wrapped Scapegrace thought to himself.

"right now you" he pointed to the escapee "Back to the warehouse and you wrap the wound" he pointed at Thrasher. Then zombies being zombies didn't listen properly Thrasher started for the warehouse and then escapee started looking for bandages.

"Oh for goodness sake" Scapegrace threw his hands in the air "Stop" them stopped "Thrasher. Stay." He turned to the escapee "You, escapee. Back to the warehouse" the escapee zombie went slowly to the door.

"Speed it up a bit" the escapee zombie started to walk faster."don't make me throw you" Scapegrace scowled, the escapee zombie walked faster when he got to the door he turned and looked at Scapegrace "Keep going" the escapee zombie disappeared through the door. Shutting the door he thought to himself _I need to invest in a better locking system_. He turned suddenly remembering the client on the floor,he looked up at Thrasher who was staring into space,then back at the would be client. Ir was too late to save him now.

"Thrasher" he snapped him out of his gaze

"Yes master"

"Help me with this would you" he grabbed one of the clients ankles and Thrasher grabbed the other, together they started dragging him toward the door of the warehouse and dumping him inside. If any of his relatives thought him missing they would go to the last place they knew him to be which would be 'Zombie Hunters' granted they knew he was coming here.

Oh well he would have an interesting time explaining to them what had happened.

Zombie retirement home, that's what he should change the name too. They could be bounty hunters for zombies, he nodded to himself. He could get a sign above his door. Zombie King looking after his subjects by keeping them safe in his warehouse.

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**Thank you for reading :) Zombie retirement home :) **


	2. Chapter 2

Scapegrace hadn't though this through. He building needed work, its unsafe for his dead guests. He wanted something like The Midnight Hotel, but stayed where it was. over time it would have been nice to expand to a moving retirement home.

The Retirement home was a bit ironic really. Retirement homes are normally related to old people but his had a mix old and young. They all just hung around together speaking to each other. They young children played games like skip and bulldog. Scapegrace thought it was funny that they played bulldog, they couldn't run very well and they fell over a lot – but they kept playing. he guessed it was their way to stay normal. They wouldn't never grow old they would kind of be like peter pan and the lost boys forever young.

The Sanctuary pays him to keep the guest here they also maintain the building, and recently they had installed a walkway so he could leave his office and look out over the masses of Zombies. Scapegrace had banned Thrasher and Clarabelle from the walkway – they had started hanging pictures from the foot of the walkway. He didn't mind that they were trying to lighten up the place, but they didn't need to hang posters of zombie films like _Shaun of the Dead_ but they also had pictures of zombies eating humans and he didn't want to give the guests any ideas. He had had one too many problems with a zombies tasting human flesh.

He shivered at the thought and walked back into his office. Sitting down at his desk, Thrasher poked his head around the door.

"You've got a call master" Picking up his phone he heard the familiar cold tone of China Sorrows.

"Hi Grand Mage" he said into the receiver

"Scapegrace I need you to make a pick up"

"Pick up?"

"All day the Sanctuary has been receiving calls about loose Zombies I need you to go out and collect them"

"Can't you send out the Cleavers?"

"No"

"But-"

"Scapegrace, dear, I will not send out our task force to bring in rouge Zombies and last time I checked our agreement it was for you to look after Zombies and keep them out of trouble, and by extension picking them up"

"Okay" He replied miserably "Um, have you thought anymore on my request for more staff and building" He felt like a nervous school boy asking the teacher if he could go and pee.

" Yes, and I have decided that your building is big enough for you and your zombies, after all zombies don't live very long now do they" she was stressed and taking it out on him.

"But me and Thrasher have lasted a while"

"And I have no idea why" she paused "Good day Mr. Scapegrace"

Thrasher must have heard him put the phone down because he appeared in his office door way with a cup of tea .

"Tea master?"

"Thrasher, I don't eat and drink. Why on earth would I want a cup if tea?"

"I don't know Clarabelle made it"

"Hi Scrapey" she called form the kitchen

"Hi Clarabelle" an idea popped in to his head, he didn't want to go and find a zombie, but he had a zombie that always does what he says and a friend. "Hey, Thrasher you want a job?" his face lit up

"Yes please master" Scapegrace grinned this was too easy.

"I have some zombies that want picking up"

"Okay, I'll take Clarabelle with me" he walked towards the door tea in hand.

"Oh and Thrasher?"

"Master?"he turned when he reached the door

"Take the leaflets you made and post them up around and about"

"Yes Master" he practically jumped out of the door

Scapegrace leaded back in his chair relaxed, only stopping to flick a bit of his eyebrow out of his face.

"CLARABELLE TO THE PENGUIN MOBILE" Thrasher screamed at the top of his lungs

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**Thank you for reading, sorry I posted the first chapter twice on another story, but meh:) ;) reviews welcome **


	3. Chapter 3

Zombie retirement home

"Master! We have a slight problem" Thrasher called from the walkway.

"Thrasher I told you, you weren't to go out on to the walkway, last time you fell off and Clarabelle had to sew your arm back on"

"I know but it the escapee zombie from the other day, y'know the one that took a chunk out of the guy in the office?"

"Yes Thrasher I remember what about him?"

"Well he seems to have a think for human flesh now" Thrasher replied unsure of what it meant.

Oh now I have to deal with it Scapegrace throught to himself

"Can he be easily contained?" Scapegrace asked getting up from his chair,but as he stood the whole thing fell off the frame it was meant to be secured to. "And hows your chair?"

"I think he will be that hard to contain" Thrasher replied "And my chair is comfy thank you"

"Brilliant" Scapegrace muttered "Keep an eye on him" he walked out into the main foyer where Thrasher sat normally, dragging his broken chair behind him, he swapped it with Thrashers -Who's was intact.

"Has he moved yet?"He called through gritted teeth as he pulled Thrashers old chair into his office, leaving his for Thrasher. Walking out on to the walkway he was met but the stench of the undead. True he lost his nose and senses a long time ago but he liked to keep up the facade. Looking over the sea of mangled, bloody bodies he could see escapee who he now called Bitey.

"Where is he then?" He asked Thrasher

"Over there" Thrasher pointed to the other side of the warehouse. True to his word Bitey was there trying to break the concrete wall with his disjointed fists.

"Hw doesn't seem that bad" Thrasher mused looking at the pathetic zombie.

"Yeah, he's all cute and cuddly untill the other zombies see what he's found and want to do it too" Scapegrace scowled. "We need to get him in another room on his own and kill him" Scapegrace decided.

"But we're meant to look after them master, not kill them" Thrasher squeaked

"Thrasher do you remember a couple of years ago my zombie Hurd going ravid and trying to eat everything they saw"

"Yes"

"I do not want that to happen again, while that one is acting like that he is endangering all of our other guests" Scapegrace explained "Now I want you too go and lock him in a room on his own"

"Okay master" Thrasher mumbled shuffling off

"And pick up your feet" Thrasher started to stomp, he was going through that stage where he wore out all of his shoes within a matter of weeks.

Scapegrace watched as Thrasher lead Bitey into a room on his own. Now all he had to do was find a way kill one of his guests.

"Scrapey?" Clarabelle voice called behind him

"Out here Clarabelle" he called miserabley back

"What are you doing out here?" She asked confusion written across her face for all to see.

"I have to deal with on of the 'guests'" he replied looking down at the floor below. Thrasher had managed to get Bitey into one of the spare rooms as Clarabelle came and stood by his side.

"What's he done?" She asked watching Thrasher

"Well since he tasted human flesh he's been going loco" Scapegrace replied shortly

"So why is Gerald taking him in that room?"

"We need to isolate him, one reason is because he might set the others off and two because he needs to be killed" he looked to the side and regretted what he had just said but added "it's for the best Clarabelle, he's only going to get worse"

Clarabelle looked at the floor and said "I don't know why you have to kill him"

"I know, but it is really going to get worse"

"I guess" she finally looked up at him, with tears in her eyes .

"Sorry Clarabelle, you don't have to be here when we kill him"

"Thank you Scapegrace, but how are you going to do it? I mean it's not like it's easy trying to kill zombies"

"Well taking his head would be easiest, I just need to let China know"

"Why does China need to know?" she pulled a funny face, like she didn't know that China was the reason this place was still running.

"Because she is running this place, she's like my boss"

"She's mine too" Clarabelle admitted like it was a big secret. "I don't like her though"

"Why?"

"She looks down at me, People think I'm always with the clouds I know that, but they try and hide it, China doesn't" She looked like she was about to start crying, Scapegrace didn't know what to do when people were crying so he just walked up and rubbed her back.

"It's okay Clarabelle, if you don't want to work there you can always come and work here, with me and Thrasher"

"I could" she smiled from ear to ear. "Thank you Scrapey"


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 3

It had been three days since Thrasher had put Bitey in his own room – and he was getting worse. He started leaving hand prints over the one sided window, which Scapegrace stood behind. He wasn't sure how he was going to kill him yet. He had researched different ways to kill a Zombie on google, Decapitation and cut to pieces seemed to work apparently, one thing that kept coming up was that you can't kill something that's already dead. A Zombie was pretty dead.

"Master?" Thrasher asked from the door way holding an axe.

"Yes Thrasher" he replied still watching Bitey lug his body around.

"I brought you an axe" He held the axe up for him to see.

"I see that Thrasher" he sighed

"It has to be today master" Thrasher told him in a small voice.

"I know" Scapegrace replied sadly, taking the axe from Thrasher he turned to go into the other room, "You can go back up to the office if you want, you don't have to see this" and with that he left Thrasher where he stood looking on in the room Bitey now paced. He watched as Scapegrace entered the room and skirted around the edge to one of the corners, raising the axe above his head, he brought it down on Bitey's foot. Thrasher looked away he could only stomach so much, and watching his master destroy one of his kin was too much. So he scurried from the room and made his way to the main office, when he got there Clarabelle was sat at his office chair looking on his computer.

"Hi Clarabelle"

"Hi Gerald almost set up your computer"

"Okay, I never knew how to work them things" pointing towards the computer

"Nor me, I just like pressing buttons, where's Scapey?"

"With Bitey" Thrasher replied on the verge of tears

"Oh, you didn't see anything did you"

"No"

"Good" Clarabelle smiled happily pressing more buttons on the computer. Thrasher looked back out of the door to the walkway, staring at the door to the room Bitey is in. A couple of moments later Scapegrace opened the door, stepped out and closed the door behind him. Thrasher saw Scapegrace still had the axe in his hand, the sharp end was covered in blood, and the wooden handle stained red. Pushing himself off the wall Scapegrace made his way to the office dragging the axe on the floor.

"Scapegrace" Clarabelle said as she heard him make his way up the stairs.

"Yeah Clarabelle" Scapegrace replied with a heavy heart, he knew what he had just done was for the best, but Bitey looked at him as his leader. He wasn't cut out for this. He never wanted to be the zombie king, never wanted to run the retirement home.

"Scrapey you all right?" Clarabelle asked, Thrasher was hovering in the corner

"Yeah I'm going to lie down" walking past them, along the way he leant the axe up one of the desks and went into his office closing the door behind him.

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**Hi, Sorry its been a while since I last posted I've got a ton of college work to do :( but its writing so I don't mind :) please review :) **


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 4

She hated visiting Nye's old building. Nye had always been a bit creepy and weird, but still even though he was long gone the building seemed to inhabit it's soul – well that is if it had one. China hated that she had to do this, but as Grand Mage she had to visit the sites the Sanctuary owned.

"Scapegarce" she yelled stepping her heeled foot over the threshold. She was met with the smell of dead flesh, god she hated that smell, but then what should she expect when the building was full of Zombies.

"Hello" a female voice called back. She knew that voice but could place it.

"Hello?" she replied

"China? Hi its me"

"Who's it's me?"

"Clarabelle" _oh that airhead _China thought to herself, but wasn't she meant to be working the hospital wing?

"Clarabelle, aren't you meant to be working in the hospital wind in the Sanctuary?" China asked as Clarabelle shuffled into view.

"Um, I was sort of Kinda fired"

"You were fired from the Sanctuary?" China asked with a curl of her lip

"Um yes Grand Mage"

"Then why are you on Sanctuary property?" China didn't have the time to scold her for being fired or trespassing on to Sanctuary property.

"Well I have nowhere else to go" the joy left her voice.

"Grand Mage?" A male voice called from the direction of the offices.

"Yes, who is that? Step into the light where I can see you"

Scapegrace stepped forward.

"Ahhh, Scapegrace can you please tell me why Clarabelle is here?"

"She got fired from the Sanctuary, and she needed somewhere to stay, so I offered her a job" he replied in his most confident voice, determined not to fall for China's charm.

"So is she was fired from the Sanctuary and hired by you?"

"Yes" he said his confidence deflating slightly, but when he saw the look on Clarabelle's face he knew it was worth it. So he sucked up his fears and defended his friend that didn't judge him. "Yes, yes I did"

"I'll put that in my report"

"Report?"

"Yes the one I'm doing on this place in a couple of days"

"Why?"

"To see if this place is worth the money it is costing us"

"Oh"

"So there better not be any rogue Zombies when I arrive on Thursday with my team"

Scapegraces mind was taken to bitey's remains in the lab.

"Yes, Grand Mage" he squeaked as China turned on her heels and left the warehouse.

"Thank you Scapey" Clarabelle muttered walking back into the office she shared with Thrasher.

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**Thank you for reading :) sorry it's a short one. but I'm so happy I got an email through saying I got into University :D reviews welcome :)**


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